Lying in bed listening to the rain, blankets all crunched up and a PlayStation remote half poking me in the head. But what i cant get off my mind was this dear old conversation I heard today between an old frail man and a young girl.
The old man sitting comfertably on a stool in Front of a cannabis shop. Staring at the girl waiting outside for her parents. The old man calls out, “girl can I help you” the girl reply “Im lost” so the man edges forward and replies “your parents will be out soon don’t worry dear child.” She replied impatiently in a harsh bratty tone “I don’t know what I want! Its not fair” the old man gave a chuckle and asked her to come over, what he said next I nearly fell off my chair.
“Child, you don’t know what you want and there can be only two reasons. The first, you already have what you want and simply havnt noticed it yet. And the second. You just don’t know yourself well enough. Look at me I have a wife of 70 years and im trying to pick up grannies here out side the dagga shop. I I don’t know what I want either. Or after 70 years I have no clue of who I really am, which of quite recent I can understand, as im completely lost!”
So im thinking of moving to Thailand again. Starting off fresh again for the hundredth time. I guess we learn and grow but for some reason I feel this need to move again will be judged negatively by others as if I cant commit to one thing for a long period of time. I don’t understand it. Is it because my path leads else where and in my head I know this and constantly keep wanting to move. Or is it due to not being able to commit. My cant I commit. Is there something wrong with my personality or is it that I’ve never been truly comfortable with what i do.
Now this may sound silly but im so excited to move and be free, make my own choices again! Its something I cant contain and I am struggling to wait.
Now there is a catch as always. If I move I may not be successfully, ill try damn hard but what if? Or i can be successful. But if I stay with the Job I have whos to say it wont get better, security with this job. I know my pay check. I know it might increase over time. Starting your own project you have no idea the out comes. What if I fail. And come home and start at square one all over again. What if my lover leaves me because of this. What if her family dislikes me.
Truth is I am a creative soul and there is no way around it. I love creating. Whether its art, or website, or small businesses! I love coming up with ideas! Most of them so far have failed and I guess that’s okay in a sense. I just need that one chance of success. And im fucking frightened I don’t find it.
Its raining here, porring to be honest, im sitting at a wooden table in a dirty resturant. A place people come before visiting the whores across the road. Water droplets hitting me and all the whilst pondering on the lives of the women across the road. Didn’t you say it was a sin? You didnt say much though. Im listening to a man by the name of Alan watts, his take on life and profound way of understanding this pathetic game we call life although its not truly a game at all from the sounds of things. I do not ponder your existence, i ponder about the understanding towards the decisions you have made. Or were there decisions made at all? Free will is what you called it but its like driving down a road with no breaks, the opposite lane is full with bustling cars and there is an on coming car in my lane. The breaks don’t work. And so here comes my understanding of free will. It comes to no surprise that some choices are harder then others. Consequences begin to arise. But as an entity with all your power and understanding, do I swerve off the road and fall down the cliff killing myself, pull over onto incoming traffic and kill six people, or simply smash into the car in Front of me killing everyone including the six month old baby with one survivor, the drunken father whos been laid off work and lost everything, his wife, assets and well his six month old child depending on the choice I make.
Now you see, I don’t remember signing a contract with terms and conditions and im not upset with you at all. I just struggle to understand how priests can live luxurious lives traveling the world in private Jets while Ashi Mobesta in Bokfontein township, aged 7, has starved more night in her awaken life then nights there have been a full moon.
Some say we deserve it, other say its just the luck of the draw. But is it really? There is a drought for 12 months, enslaving financially hundreds of farmers, hundreds of thousands of family. And im sat here with ear phones in playing no music just trying to evade communication. Must some how understand your plan.
Last week one of the workers and old man aged 51, spends his days breaking rocks with 20 pound sledge hammer, for 12 hours a day. His family lives 1000km away. Coming home eat night to a tin house and eating meals consisting of maize and water. A man who has done no wrong and lived a life of hard ship. This man lost his 18 year old son last week, with not even enough money to bury his own child. He sat next to me and cried, screamed. With a tone angels have never heard. Like he was 6ft underground stuck in well.
At this moment I realized how cheap and pathetic life is. And I asked you why you allowed this to happen. With no reply.
But what convinces us we are worthy of your reply, what convinces us you are not kali the Hindu god of pain. For without the dark of night you cannot see the stars. Without times of destruction we cannot see the collateral beauty. What if you are the reason we see the beauty. For only after suffering do we appreciate luxury. How do you scale this, measure these opposites. Who sits and reassures you there is balance kept on earth.
When we reached the moon and returned a young journalist asked the astronaut. Have you seen heaven beyond our earth? The astronaut replied yes. Did you see god and if so what did he look like? The astronaut replied, yes. She is black.
You see we all have this perception of a father like figure when it comes to you. But does your image matter. What if I witnessed you wearing a black shirt scruffy old woman dark in colour with a sword in one hand and a human corps in the other. Would I tremble, would I think less of you. What if, you created this physical existence but we humans are a mere creation of those you created before us.
What if we humans with knowledge and many years of understanding could become God. To say if in 200 years we created a medical means towards immortality. Teleport and true Telepathy. The ability to walk through more then just our physical plain but spiritual ones to. With this being said would there be pyramid power dividing systems between the knowledgeable Gods created and yourself at the top. Would there be a ranking? Is there a ranking? Have Gods been created before in our universe under your rule.
If not, why is there only one true God and not many. If not,
A wise man is quite, allows the sounds of the earth, the movement of people and the despair of the homeless to speak for him. I used to wonder how quickly I could go from being sheltered with food and clothes and beautiful luxury, to being poor and homeless. From my calculations depending on how the money disappears or gets spent lets say 3 months. And so I am three months away from the lowest class in society. Yet I have been working my ass off for the last 5 years. And so this is where it makes no fucking sense. Why work a job you don’t really enjoy, to pay for an apartment you don’t really like, pay for friends who don’t really amuse you. Follow rules you don’t agree with and at the end of the day get it all thrown in your face. With no Thank you. Not even a quiver of genuine sympathy coming from a sole in a 100 mile radius. But you will keep pushing through it all. So your kids can grow up with money, be spoilt. Go to expensive schools. Do drugs and becomes snobby rude fucks that have no street wisdom or an ounce of knowledge towards a class under there stature. Yes the parents need to pay more attention and raise there kids right. But is consumerism the answer. Is this constant need to buy have and get, really the future of this world.
Greed. One man Jeff Bezos sits with a net worth of $111 billion dollars to his name. That’s 1.6 trillion Rand. Give or take. It only takes 20 billion dollars to end world hunger forever.
Now imagine this world. The rich get richer. The poor stay the same. But no one is starving, freezing or dying.
So why do you get up for work everyday? Because you believe, you have no choice. No choice at all. And honestly you have all the choice in the world.
Shit, probably gonna come across a few issues but you can work them out. Imagine living within your means. You work 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. Staying in a beautiful two bedroom home on the beach. Writing blogs, or painting. Traveling to as many places as you can. Free of will. No boss. No rules but your own, and the law of course. Picture it now, the bliss you would feel.
And so a wise man said nothing at all. He allows the sounds of the earth, the movement of people and the despair of the homeless to speak for him. And so a wise man once said, nothing.
I have been waiting for this day, sitting riddled in anxiety to the point my brain feels numb and communication is something of the past. It is funny how my past experiences of situations have always seemed worse then they really are. Like have you ever had to hide a dead body? Im sure the mere thought of actually doing it would scare you half to death, the blood, cleaning up all the evidence and then deciding how you will live with it for the rest of your life. Well there is no dead body. Or any evidence of such a thing, but I have been lying in bed for the last 4 days frightened out of my mind. Diving into my writing, I guess trying to come up with any reason to prove to myself that I was correct and they were wrong. As any sane human does. Justifying from each olive branch I pass in my mind how unfair things are. We all do this, some better then others. And at the end of the day I will sit there in silence reply yes and no to all statements and hope I get out of it alive. That is if they will allow it to be that simple.
No on second thought, lets imagine they do not let me off that easy. I guess that’s how pigs at slaughtering houses feel. They get let out this tiny cage, they have been cooped up in for about 6 months, seen nothing of the outside world and just when they begin to smell freedom, the truck pulls up to the slaughterhouse. And this is the very thing im frightened of, not know what’s around the corner. Now I’ve never been to good at arguments or heated meetings as my brain and memory turn off during times of stress, like genuinely what worse time can there possibly be.
Imagine its world war 2, you are a tank operator driving down a narrow road in the bush, when suddenly you get ambushed with your twenty men, bullets flying, blood everywhere. You climb down to the guns cockpit aim your giant two ton gun at the enemy, you are locked on ready to pull that trigger. And when you do the gun jams.
Well story of my life and instead of ammo it is things I cannot remember in stressful situations. So in all actual fact I do hope this meeting goes smooth or at least my gun doesn’t jam. But If it does, I have plenty of armour, and a sweet face. I do hope I get out this one alive.
You see as humans we are plagued with enormous stress and pressure. And as humans we forget things. Mess stuff up. But does this really mean we are not good enough. In actual fact you have hired a human not a robot, you stupid creature. Come back in 10 years and we might just have what you are looking for.
So for now deal with the constant fact that we are indeed humans. Some better then other, I guess. I have no idea how we measure this. But the good part is im giving you a slight understanding into my mind.
And a wonderful mind at that. So how did I feel spending my last day before work begins in a cold basement parking lot genuinely enjoying my day? Well I came to realize that the more I write the more people will know. Considering these articles may live on the internet for as long as mind kind can survive this dirty rat race.
Truth is im lying to you, im actually writing cause I have nothing to do. And work starts tomorrow after my disciplinary hearing. And I think I may have found something I like. Blogging.
It’s not to tedious nor does it use energy or money. I have my whole setup right here on this little device. Pretty much total sci-fi talk if it was 20 years ago. Non the less we can all pretend this new age of technology doesn’t frighten you all. Amateurs.
So as this story goes on it has started to get darker here and my girlfriend has become more tired with every olly she performs. I do give it to her the perseverance in her, is a trait I’d like to steal. She is growing increasingly upset as im not watching her skate. So as for this post im done. Hope you enjoyed
If I could tell the world anything, anything at all. what would it be? but further more, what would my intentions be.
To share knowledge?
To make money?
To be heard?
Exert some kind ego towards the outside world?
Would I mock people or insult someone?
Criticize?
…
You are reading this article in the hopes to gain some special knowledge to grow from poor to a multi millionaire blog creator. Some blogs sit and give you factual numbers with flow diagrams and charts. Other Creatures offer a different approach based on Perseverance, or Magnetizing a fellowship. Most of us though keep searching, most of us are looking for something called, INSTANT GRATIFICATION. Day after day we spend our time hunched over article’s or vlogs promising us we can become like them. It is a wonderful society isn’t it when we obsess over Fake gratification instead of human interaction. and it is something we have gotten far to good at.
I spent the good parts of 4 days, Trying to come up with a full proof concept that works, all the whilst dreading going back to work and having to face the disciplinary hearing I got just two days ago. Hanging over my 2010 Dell laptop contemplating quitting smoking while frantically looking for a lighter. Yes, this is how I have spent my last 4 days, in a old age home apartment block, you know the that look? with wood styled furniture and painting styled tiles. yes. This is where it all began, my quest to find enlightenment. or at least an answer to my question.
Along the way I noticed a few problems.
I do not know any of these authors, writers, bloggers. How am I to trust them, or for a second believe this 1 paragraph of script is the answer to my dreams/problems. Over the 15,000,000 other articles iv missed due to not having enough life on earth. And this brings us to our first point.
YOU WILL NOT FIND A MAGIC PASSAGE THAT WILL IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
You could though Im sure of it. Kind of making a statement like, we are the only life in the universe. When we know far to little information on a stupid topic and try to understand it.
further more let me explain my topic. The fact that you are reading this means you are taking a great step towards success. Obviously, you are researching. Finding hacks to the trade, tips and tricks anything you can to get a good footing in this blogging industry. Don’t Stop.
But please do keep in mind, only 1 thing really works.
QUALITY
The quality of your blog. Is the very post you are busy with, really going to change someones life, inspire them, change a nation. Probably not unfortunately. But that is because you have not soul searched, deep inside yourself. Ever had that moment with your partner where you can finally be comfortable, get naked or pull funny faces when you climax. This is where you need to be with your writing. Feel no judgement, Type in a quiet room with no one but yourself. Let your fears and dreams come out, followed close behind with your darkest fantasies and kinks. Let it all out my old friend, let it out.
Fear not the ridicule of others, or the beliefs in your families eyes. This is a moment to be undevidedly yourself. (See I just made that word up). Because this is my space and I am the boss here, And this is the attitude you need, towards writing.
Many writers before us 21st century bloggers, wrote from their heart, William Shakespear. He wrote plays of Jealousy and death. Using a technique of story telling never seen before. Eminem, the best Hip Hop Rap artist of all time. He wrote about his life and the struggles he was facing, showing no ego, his heart worn on his sleeve. And you know what? People were able to relate, and recognize what he was going through.
Maybe you don’t have it in you right now to let go and be free, if so. You need to learn fast kid. Cause without it you’ll be a mediocre blog writer with no one but there close family and retirement home friends to read along, to your boring mundane gossip on racism and plants, or pills out there curing arthritis.
Life is short and sharing knowledge is one of the greatest gifts us creatures have. So don’t stop, doing what you are doing, whether you go viral or not. Information on the internet cannot die and soon 100 years from now kids might be reading your article as a class assignment to pick up the mistakes, and why it was never a successful article. Or you could find happiness in the fact that instant gratification will not work in this industry without a godlike mind. Or if your are looking for a more positive approach there is always the chance you know something the world has been searching for.
Either way I think your chances are 50/50, and that is a damn fine place to start. considering baby sea turtles have a 1 in 1000 chance of ever living long enough to reproduce. So take it from me, Carry on. You have more then enough of a chance to become anything you want, why not a blogger.
In a society as vast as ours we have all come to the realization money is evil. Well to be more subjective I believe money is the root of all evil. This article will explain to you how easy it is to survive without money, but this life style is not for all to endure.
When I was 17 i found it very amusing how our whole lives aare based around money. The most hours spent are at school or work, doing something you probably do not enjoy. Now why is it we don’t just leave, retire, or run away to a life of less pressure and more pleasure. Simple. We believe we can’t. But can we?
For a year I researched how to live off the land, carry only what will fit in a bag, with ways and means of finding food and places to sleep. I believed the life of a so called hobo was one I quite enjoyed and found interesting. now you may think I was a bit strange but I’m not the only one with these thoughts and dreams of a relaxed life, living day by day, with no stresses.
at the age of 18 I packed my bag and began my walk from Johannesburg to Cape town, strolling through the garden route. This was a massive 2000 km walk. And something I needed to do to prove a South African or anyone could live without money.
Family and friends told me I as crazy, I would be raped and murdered on my trip. I pressed on.
step 1
Pack light, only bring what you need. 3 pairs of pants, 5 shirts, 5 underware, 5 socks.
Bunsen burner to cook on. A light small pot
sewing kit.
Jacket and thick raincoat.
Matches
A map on paper as your phones battery will die.
Big bottle of water.
The rest you can decide, be creative.
AND a Tent! lightweight as you will be carrying it.
step 2
Take one step at a time. the first week will be physically painful. All the walking, sleeping in a tent and so on. The second week will be Mentally painful missing the family. The loneliness will disappear with thoughts and voices running through your head. you will meditate unknowingly. discuss topics with yourself to such an extent you begin to understand what you have never understood before. You will be at peace. Life will be quiet. The road will be long but remember, 1 step in front of another.
step 3
At this point you will begin to believe it is a bad idea and what you are doing is ridiculous. Shut up and believe. this is a moment of great understanding and realization. You will grow faster mentally then ever before.
step 4
By now you have left your own society and begun to walk a road of another journey. People sense this and will look at you strangely. Your communication with people from your old society of money will fade away. you will feel a sense of fear towards big cities and even people in general. This means it is working. You are adapting.
when I was on my walk I went days and days without muttering a word to anyone.
step 5
Realization. At this point of your journey you become enlightened. your ego has disappeared due to having to ask for help, ask for free food, or a good warm shower. You may not be comfy with this but it is important to rid the ego. You will lose judgement on peoples classes as money and wealth means nothing.
At this point if you choose to continue or return to society the choice is yours. But know you have enlightened yourself in ways you will only discover later on in life.
I walked for 3 months. And went from a dirty druggy teenager to a hard working man who does everything in his power to better his own life and the lives of family and friends around him. The day I integrated back into society I was a changed man for the better.
It is possible to live without money, the journey will teach you things that would take years for you to understand. Give it a try, Email me Jesseglad1@gmail.com if you have any other questions.
Some feel the need to travel brings a sense of well being and on many cases this probably isn’t far from the truth. During your times of travel you discover, learn and broaden your mental horizon.
When I was 18 I had a girlfriend, blonde hair, great body, and an obsession with wanting to escape. She believed the grass is always greener on the other side. Researching, praying even. Longing for that trip over the great sea’s.
Her family situation wasn’t all that great but then again she was spoilt rotten and the longer it took her to escape the worse she thought of her life.
Finally the day came, she boarded that flight, 17 hours later arriving in Vietnam. Chin up high and mind as curious as a busy beaver. She forgot one thing. The advice a gave her before she left. “The grass is only as green as you water it, the problem you have inside your mind journey with you no matter how far you travel”.
You see she wanted to travel because she us not happy with her home situations. Life was hard, and her home town didn’t excite her. She became greatly depressed and lonely on her travels. Drank and partied away the rest of her money with in a week of her stay, this was due to her terrible lack in responsibilities though might I just add.
The once glamour girl from little old Port Elizabeth, Summerstrand. Became a dirty tourist begger, scamming people into giving her money with lies falling every which way. To finish off the story she ended up in a Bali prison for 3 Months. Over staying her visa due to not having enough money to renew it.
Let me get to the point. Some travel because they are running away from something, bad marriage, job they got fired from, family or even avoiding the law in there own country (Met a guy with this story, at the time of talking he was on the phone with his drug dealer cooped up in a dodgy bar. No surprise there). Keep in mind , when wanting to travel, run towards the paradise not away from hell. Sort out what responsibilities you may have, before you get that ticket.
Trust you don’t wanna end up in a Bali prison eating bread and being picked on cause you look like a transgender whore. Excuse my French.
Be consistent, keep love in your heart and travel well.
This post is intended for viewers over the age of 18.
Sex and the city. Isn’t this one of the excitement when it comes to travelling. Meeting new people. Leaving your boring persona behind and starting off with a clean slate. You can be anyone and anything. Im going to tell you how you can take your sex life from zero to hero when traveling anywhere!
1. CONFIDENCE
This is absolute key. No one knows who you are, what you do, or even where you came from. Having confidence when asking those Australian girls sitting writing in there journals to come play a game of pool with you in the bar or to join you and your friends for a day at the beach is key! Remember most people you interact with are intimidated and have a tourist brain. They have no idea what adventures are around them but at the same time they are eager to try anything that sounds fun! Or at least better the visiting a food market.
2. CONVERSATION
You both come from opposite sides of the world. Brought up in different cultures. Who you are and what you have experienced in your life is a book you can write this very moment. Remember, people like to talk about them selves so allow your partner to tell you all about her, what she’s does, why she is travelling and even get deep into some spiritual sense. She/He will truly like you for this.
Important tip, when you are with a group of friends and there are a few good looking woman/men. Dont be the first to chat with him/her. Allow everyone else to have there chance and then come in last. Leave that lasting impression on their mind. You wont regret this. Play it cool, don’t be to clingy or obsessed.
3. THE PLATTER
If you are traveling in a high end tourist destinations like Bali or Thailand. The nationalities around you will range from British to American, Serbian to Russian, South African to Australian. And many more. With all this choice comes greater chance you will find your type! Feeling not so confident try make birdi eyes with a local woman/man.
I found being 20 around a majority of 30 year old travellers was my key to success, you need to find yours! Is it wealth? Your beautiful blonde hair? Probably your accent!
Point is nearly every tourist or local you lay your eyes on is on holiday and looking for a good time! You are surrounded by more eligible dates here then ever before in your life.
4. PROBABILITY
This is the most important key to success. Probability is a measure quantifying the likelihood that events will occur. Probability is a number between 0 and 1, where, roughly speaking, 0 indicates impossibility and 1 indicates certainty. The higher the probability of an event, the more likely it is that the event will occur.
Now to get a great rate of probability you need to flirt with as many people as you can, ask for number, buy people drinks, get out there.
If you only end up actually flirting with 3 people during your whole stay! Your probability is very low and ill tell you now you got NO action. But end up flirting with over 50 people or more during your stay, I’d say about 20 would of been interested in you. 10 would of flirted back and 5 people would of slept with you!
This is how the sex game works! And due to the tasty platter im sure all 50 would of been gorgeous!
5. SEX
This is what its all about. The moment you have been waiting for for years. Your about to turn that dry goose into a swimming dolphin.
When you got your date, your madly flirting. Do not be friend zoned. Make it clear in a classy way you want to sleep with them. Kiss her on the hand while talking. Touch his butt when he takes a pool shot. Do whatever subtle gesture you can think of to make it clear in their subconscious you are not here to play games, you want the trophy. Without freaking them out of course.
Night will grow dark and your moment for coffee at theirs with come. Remember to condomize! STD’s are real and in great numbers over seas.
If you followed my simple steps im proud of you and hope you had one crazy night! I sure know I did many times. P.s. Americans are great.
'LET US ESCAPE' 