A letter to God with no reply

Its raining here, porring to be honest, im sitting at a wooden table in a dirty resturant. A place people come before visiting the whores across the road. Water droplets hitting me and all the whilst pondering on the lives of the women across the road. Didn’t you say it was a sin? You didnt say much though. Im listening to a man by the name of Alan watts, his take on life and profound way of understanding this pathetic game we call life although its not truly a game at all from the sounds of things. I do not ponder your existence, i ponder about the understanding towards the decisions you have made. Or were there decisions made at all? Free will is what you called it but its like driving down a road with no breaks, the opposite lane is full with bustling cars and there is an on coming car in my lane. The breaks don’t work. And so here comes my understanding of free will. It comes to no surprise that some choices are harder then others. Consequences begin to arise. But as an entity with all your power and understanding, do I swerve off the road and fall down the cliff killing myself, pull over onto incoming traffic and kill six people, or simply smash into the car in Front of me killing everyone including the six month old baby with one survivor, the drunken father whos been laid off work and lost everything, his wife, assets and well his six month old child depending on the choice I make.

Now you see, I don’t remember signing a contract with terms and conditions and im not upset with you at all. I just struggle to understand how priests can live luxurious lives traveling the world in private Jets while Ashi Mobesta in Bokfontein township, aged 7, has starved more night in her awaken life then nights there have been a full moon.

Some say we deserve it, other say its just the luck of the draw. But is it really? There is a drought for 12 months, enslaving financially hundreds of farmers, hundreds of thousands of family. And im sat here with ear phones in playing no music just trying to evade communication. Must some how understand your plan.

Last week one of the workers and old man aged 51, spends his days breaking rocks with 20 pound sledge hammer, for 12 hours a day. His family lives 1000km away. Coming home eat night to a tin house and eating meals consisting of maize and water. A man who has done no wrong and lived a life of hard ship. This man lost his 18 year old son last week, with not even enough money to bury his own child. He sat next to me and cried, screamed. With a tone angels have never heard. Like he was 6ft underground stuck in well.

At this moment I realized how cheap and pathetic life is. And I asked you why you allowed this to happen. With no reply.

But what convinces us we are worthy of your reply, what convinces us you are not kali the Hindu god of pain. For without the dark of night you cannot see the stars. Without times of destruction we cannot see the collateral beauty. What if you are the reason we see the beauty. For only after suffering do we appreciate luxury. How do you scale this, measure these opposites. Who sits and reassures you there is balance kept on earth.

When we reached the moon and returned a young journalist asked the astronaut. Have you seen heaven beyond our earth? The astronaut replied yes. Did you see god and if so what did he look like? The astronaut replied, yes. She is black.

You see we all have this perception of a father like figure when it comes to you. But does your image matter. What if I witnessed you wearing a black shirt scruffy old woman dark in colour with a sword in one hand and a human corps in the other. Would I tremble, would I think less of you. What if, you created this physical existence but we humans are a mere creation of those you created before us.

What if we humans with knowledge and many years of understanding could become God. To say if in 200 years we created a medical means towards immortality. Teleport and true Telepathy. The ability to walk through more then just our physical plain but spiritual ones to. With this being said would there be pyramid power dividing systems between the knowledgeable Gods created and yourself at the top. Would there be a ranking? Is there a ranking? Have Gods been created before in our universe under your rule.

If not, why is there only one true God and not many. If not,

Why will you not reply?

Why will you not?

Why will you?

Why will?

Why?

A wise man

A wise man is quite, allows the sounds of the earth, the movement of people and the despair of the homeless to speak for him. I used to wonder how quickly I could go from being sheltered with food and clothes and beautiful luxury, to being poor and homeless. From my calculations depending on how the money disappears or gets spent lets say 3 months. And so I am three months away from the lowest class in society. Yet I have been working my ass off for the last 5 years. And so this is where it makes no fucking sense. Why work a job you don’t really enjoy, to pay for an apartment you don’t really like, pay for friends who don’t really amuse you. Follow rules you don’t agree with and at the end of the day get it all thrown in your face. With no Thank you. Not even a quiver of genuine sympathy coming from a sole in a 100 mile radius. But you will keep pushing through it all. So your kids can grow up with money, be spoilt. Go to expensive schools. Do drugs and becomes snobby rude fucks that have no street wisdom or an ounce of knowledge towards a class under there stature. Yes the parents need to pay more attention and raise there kids right. But is consumerism the answer. Is this constant need to buy have and get, really the future of this world.

Greed. One man Jeff Bezos sits with a net worth of $111 billion dollars to his name. That’s 1.6 trillion Rand. Give or take. It only takes 20 billion dollars to end world hunger forever.

Now imagine this world. The rich get richer. The poor stay the same. But no one is starving, freezing or dying.

So why do you get up for work everyday? Because you believe, you have no choice. No choice at all. And honestly you have all the choice in the world.

Shit, probably gonna come across a few issues but you can work them out. Imagine living within your means. You work 3 hours a day, 5 days a week. Staying in a beautiful two bedroom home on the beach. Writing blogs, or painting. Traveling to as many places as you can. Free of will. No boss. No rules but your own, and the law of course. Picture it now, the bliss you would feel.

And so a wise man said nothing at all. He allows the sounds of the earth, the movement of people and the despair of the homeless to speak for him. And so a wise man once said, nothing.

A Sunday session.

You see as humans we are plagued with enormous stress and pressure. And as humans we forget things. Mess stuff up. But does this really mean we are not good enough. In actual fact you have hired a human not a robot, you stupid creature. Come back in 10 years and we might just have what you are looking for.

So for now deal with the constant fact that we are indeed humans. Some better then other, I guess. I have no idea how we measure this. But the good part is im giving you a slight understanding into my mind.

And a wonderful mind at that. So how did I feel spending my last day before work begins in a cold basement parking lot genuinely enjoying my day? Well I came to realize that the more I write the more people will know. Considering these articles may live on the internet for as long as mind kind can survive this dirty rat race.

Truth is im lying to you, im actually writing cause I have nothing to do. And work starts tomorrow after my disciplinary hearing. And I think I may have found something I like. Blogging.

It’s not to tedious nor does it use energy or money. I have my whole setup right here on this little device. Pretty much total sci-fi talk if it was 20 years ago. Non the less we can all pretend this new age of technology doesn’t frighten you all. Amateurs.

So as this story goes on it has started to get darker here and my girlfriend has become more tired with every olly she performs. I do give it to her the perseverance in her, is a trait I’d like to steal. She is growing increasingly upset as im not watching her skate. So as for this post im done. Hope you enjoyed

Yours Jesse

How to live without money

In a society as vast as ours we have all come to the realization money is evil. Well to be more subjective I believe money is the root of all evil. This article will explain to you how easy it is to survive without money, but this life style is not for all to endure.

When I was 17 i found it very amusing how our whole lives aare based around money. The most hours spent are at school or work, doing something you probably do not enjoy. Now why is it we don’t just leave, retire, or run away to a life of less pressure and more pleasure. Simple. We believe we can’t. But can we?

For a year I researched how to live off the land, carry only what will fit in a bag, with ways and means of finding food and places to sleep. I believed the life of a so called hobo was one I quite enjoyed and found interesting. now you may think I was a bit strange but I’m not the only one with these thoughts and dreams of a relaxed life, living day by day, with no stresses.

at the age of 18 I packed my bag and began my walk from Johannesburg to Cape town, strolling through the garden route. This was a massive 2000 km walk. And something I needed to do to prove a South African or anyone could live without money.

Family and friends told me I as crazy, I would be raped and murdered on my trip. I pressed on.

step 1

Pack light, only bring what you need. 3 pairs of pants, 5 shirts, 5 underware, 5 socks.

Bunsen burner to cook on. A light small pot

sewing kit.

Jacket and thick raincoat.

Matches

A map on paper as your phones battery will die.

Big bottle of water.

The rest you can decide, be creative.

AND a Tent! lightweight as you will be carrying it.

step 2

Take one step at a time. the first week will be physically painful. All the walking, sleeping in a tent and so on. The second week will be Mentally painful missing the family. The loneliness will disappear with thoughts and voices running through your head. you will meditate unknowingly. discuss topics with yourself to such an extent you begin to understand what you have never understood before. You will be at peace. Life will be quiet. The road will be long but remember, 1 step in front of another.

step 3

At this point you will begin to believe it is a bad idea and what you are doing is ridiculous. Shut up and believe. this is a moment of great understanding and realization. You will grow faster mentally then ever before.

step 4

By now you have left your own society and begun to walk a road of another journey. People sense this and will look at you strangely. Your communication with people from your old society of money will fade away. you will feel a sense of fear towards big cities and even people in general. This means it is working. You are adapting.

when I was on my walk I went days and days without muttering a word to anyone.

step 5

Realization. At this point of your journey you become enlightened. your ego has disappeared due to having to ask for help, ask for free food, or a good warm shower. You may not be comfy with this but it is important to rid the ego. You will lose judgement on peoples classes as money and wealth means nothing.

At this point if you choose to continue or return to society the choice is yours. But know you have enlightened yourself in ways you will only discover later on in life.

I walked for 3 months. And went from a dirty druggy teenager to a hard working man who does everything in his power to better his own life and the lives of family and friends around him. The day I integrated back into society I was a changed man for the better.

It is possible to live without money, the journey will teach you things that would take years for you to understand. Give it a try, Email me Jesseglad1@gmail.com if you have any other questions.

yours Jesse